Snatches, Squats & Diaper Changes

Finding & Maintaining the Life Balance of a Weightlifting Coach

     Over the last few years, I have begun to see a lot of parallels between the sport of weightlifting and everyday life. One of the more interesting parallels I have discovered is how much of a balancing act life is. If you spend too much time doing "A" you run the risk of missing out on spending time doing "B" and possibly miss out on something in the process. It's kind of like a snatch, if it's half an inch forward or behind, it's going to be a missed rep. Just like missing out on something fun, new, or exciting, nobody likes missing reps. As an athlete, it can be tough to find the perfect balance. As a coach, I think it's even tougher. 

I should take a moment to step back and share this one point of interest. Speaking from personal experience, unless you have a very supportive spouse, who fully acknowledges and understands the world that is weightlifting and the associated madness (coaching, programming, research, competition travel) finding the balance between the two can be hard. When you add kids to the equation, what I call the "Game Changer" the level of difficulty just went from difficult to nearly impossible.

It's hard to explain just how impossible it can seem to balance everything to anyone who doesn't have children. The funny thing is every parent understands. Lord knows I am not the perfect parent, light-years from it. With my 4+ years of parenting experience, I already know I have made a lot of mistakes. I mean a lot of mistakes. Tons. At the same time, I feel I have missed a lot of different things. Bedtime stories, family evening suppers, first steps, first words. So on and so forth. Truth be told, it eats at me every time I miss one of these things.

For those of you who don't know or understand coaching in the field of strength athletics, primarily the field of strength and conditioning, it is a thankless job with more working hours than many realize. Without getting into too many of the details, at the college level, a 60-hour workweek can be considered normal. At the high school level, a 45-hour workweek can be considered normal. Point of interest, the hours worked aren't just hours spent coaching on the floor. It can be everything from research, to meetings, to programming, technical training, personal training (we are our own personal guineapigs when it comes to trying new program ideas) athlete meetings, conferences.

   

The same can be said for weightlifting coaches like myself. Same responsibilities but, now you add in the art of scheduling multiple athletes a day, you'll see the hours begin to add up really quick. Plus, unless you have a high enough athlete base to make a full-time living from coaching, more than likely there is a 2nd job that takes place before the scheduled coaching times. Personally, I'm a carpenter.

The point I am trying to make is simple, and it goes back to what I said earlier, if you spend time doing "A" you will not be able to spend time doing "B". In this case, whether I am at a job site or coaching, I am not able to spend time with my family. Now, am I saying I don't want to coach any longer, Heaven's no. What I am saying is there has to be a balance. 

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, finding the balance can be hard as hell and evening more frustrating. There have been days I have felt as though I'm at my wit's end because I don't feel like I have my life in balance. And even though I am doing what I do not only to follow my passion and use the knowledge I have gained over the years of study and work, I am also doing this to provide for my family. And even though providing in terms of finances is important, at the end of the day, my 2-year-old daughter or my 4-year-old son doesn't care who hit what weight for a 5 RM in a back squat, or what athlete "A's" new clean and jerk PR is. What they care about is, will I be home to put them to bed or even kiss them good night. This is why finding the balance is so crucial.

One thing my wife has told me about when it comes to raising the kids is setting boundaries and holding firm to them. As a coach I set boundaries all the time, I call them rules. However, I have never set boundaries for myself in terms of keeping the work: family balance. That is until recently. Some of them are simple, while others I have thought hard about.

The easiest one I have begun to enforce upon myself is "No Coaching on Sundays". That means no film, no programming, no reading, etc. as long as the kids are awake. Nap times, I go full till to get as much work done as a human can. But the moment the kids wake up, it's time to put everything away. Another that comes to mind right away is I will always do my best to put the kids down to sleep at least once a day. That means if I am home for nap time, I am the one to put them down for naps. If I am home for bedtime and I missed nap time, I will be the one to put the kids down for bed. I started doing this after my daughter was born and I believe it has worked out pretty well. There are countless others I could discuss whether it deals with the bond I have with my wife or my children, but I think you get the point.

I can't tell anyone what their "priorities" should be. I can only speak from experience when I feel the work: family balance begins to waver, my life begins to feel very chaotic. Again, I am thankful that I have this opportunity to pursue my dream of having my own team and starting my club. But, in the end, if success (money, champions, "fame") means that I have to sacrifice the family bond, then the "dream" isn't worth the time or effort. And for the young coaches and athletes like myself who are struggling with finding the balance, believe me, when I tell you, you aren't alone. It is there, and you will find it. It will only take time.

Take Care,

Coach A