A Funny Thing Happened...

        So a funny thing happened a few days ago... I injured myself. It happened at a deadlift competition. During a 465 lb deadlift, I felt 2 small pops in my lower back. After I set the weight back down I walked off the platform and felt a small amount of tightness in my lower back. To be frank, it's nothing I have never dealt with before and didn't think too much of it. The really funny thing about the entire situation is the 465 lbs of the deadlift felt relatively light. Anyway, I pulled myself out of the competition thinking to myself "I have played this game before, and in the past, I have typically pushed through the discomfort and ultimately lost." So to make sure I don't hurt myself any further than I have, I decide to stay on the safe side. So as I said, I pulled out and watch the rest of the comp. So here I am walking around, talking with people, feeling a small bit of tightness in my lower back, again nothing I'm not used to, and going on with my day. I get home, I play with my kids, I put them to bed, and go through my normal routine after something like these 2 little pops happen. Heat, massage, ice and, rest. I lay down for the night thinking I should be good in the morning, with the expectation that I will be a little sore tomorrow. Was I wrong. I mean really wrong.

       I woke up the next morning and wasn't able to move. Amanda, my wife, got up with the kids in the morning and allowed me to rest a little longer. As I am trying to get out of bed, my lower back and left hip completely seize, stopping me dead in my tracks. The pain was excruciating. I could move, let alone even breathe. Knowing this is not a good thing, I call Amanda on my cell phone. Thankfully I had it next to my side of the bed. I tell her I need her assistance and she proceeds to help me at least get off the bed. In the process of getting up off the bed, my lower back seizes again, causing the most horrific pain I had ever felt in my life. I fall to the floor and try to get into a position that won't cause any pain. 

This all happened at 7:40 AM. It is at this point I have come to the conclusion that all of the things I wanted to get done around the house were not going to be completed. 

        Over the next 8 hours, I am on the floor of my bedroom staring at the ceiling. I try a few different times to get up, at one point I made it all the way to my hands and knees, and time after time, the same thing would happen. The lower back would seize and I would end up back on the floor. It wasn't until 3:30 PM that Amanda and I finally made the call for the Ambulance to come and take me to the ER.

        This is where the funny thing happened. During the time on the floor, I had a lot of time to think. Think about things I typically don't think about. Things like how my bedroom ceiling needs a coat of texture and, the carpet and the pad in my bedroom really need to be replaced in the next few years. But then there was a thought that came across my mind that I hadn't thought about for a long time. I remembered back to an essay I read years ago about a former elite powerlifter and how his life was forever changed by the sport. I remember back to how he described the bottles of pain meds on his nightstand, how he was in chronic pain. The essay was called The Price of the Platform. I would recommend reading it, it will open your eyes in many ways.

        I remember thinking to myself after I first read it, "that will never happen to me. I like to think train smarter than most." Again, I was wrong. It did happen to me because here I was stuck on my bedroom floor unable to sit up. I think back to many of the injuries I have had over my life. Dislocated shoulders, more than one broken nose, busted orbital socket, cauliflower ear, blown out hips, contorted vertebrae, concussions are only to name a few. I never thought about many of them until one specific point, that point was when my kids came into the bedroom and I was on the floor. 

        I have written about this topic before but kids change life in ways you never dream about, let alone, think about. Thinking about this now, it is hard to imagine not being able to do the things I want to do with my children. I'm going to be straight honest, this injury scared me. I have never felt pain at this level ever in my life. I was truly worried that I had really "done screwed myself up this time". And it got me thinking what price and I willing to pay? When will the platform really make me pay up? This is maybe one of the hardest questions I will ever answer. Truth be told, I don't know. I love strength athletics. Since I was little I have always been fascinated by watching strong people do the unimaginable. Now I get to live as one of those people. This brings me to the million-dollar question, is it worth it? Every time I step onto the platform to lift, I assume all the risks associated with it. Again, I thought this would never happen to me. And I thought wrong because it did. Now, what do I do?

My first thought is to use this injury as a way to change my training. Focus on my weak points like I use to and make them my strengths. Simple enough. The second thought that comes across my mind is "what the hell do I have to prove to anyone?". Looking at this with that perspective, I am a father of 3, I own my own business, I have a loving wife, many friends and I can accomplish many feats of strength some could only wish for. The final thought, and the scariest, I think it might be time to hang it up. Like I said, this injury scared me. Scared me to my core as a husband and father. Could it happen again? Will it happen again. These questions I will never be able to answer.

Granted, I haven't been in the right headspace the last few days. I learned a long time ago, to allow things to sit for a bit before making and huge life choices. I will revisit this topic in the next week or so and provide you all with an update as to how things are going. As of now, with a little thanks to modern medicine, I am able to walk around, perform a lot of my daily tasks with a little bit of discomfort, and most of all coach my athletes/clients. So yeah, a funny thing happened last weekend, I got my eyes opened in a new way. Which way I decide to go, I don't know. Only time will tell. Until then, I have some more thinking to do.

Take Care,

Coach A